Life has its Laissez faire.

Am i cranky, i dont know that.. But for sure iam depressed for no rhyme or reason ??? Well, i cant probably despise any statement that way , from my mind for many obvious reasons. But one thing i fail in my life is either "to be or not to be myself". I dont know which of it is really true and for why . As economics puts it in the right way " Certainities and Uncertainities can take its toll on life in ", i have in one way been a victim to it. Am i really victim to it ?? Iam confused,for i dont know the answer to the questions i ask for, but for sure i have understood one thing in life (probably a better lesson !!), about Decisions made, Never take anyone or any damn shit for granted, cause devil has its own way of punishing you for the bonnie wish you ask for,beware !! where he(God or satan(let time decide !!)) boons you with your askings for in a late night drink-gossip,and also ensures that the wish is executed to the fullest(Now, thats upto my interpretation !!), on the other side of the world he also ensures that, the wish is executed so bloody much so that "Uncertainities " takes its toll on my bloody dim-witted life that i land up into introspection, and the f***** soul searchin. I want myself to be or not to be myself for the good , so that penitence does`nt become my salvation. But, today`s memory i cherish for a close friend of mine has done the greatest help he ever can, to help me out of the 'maladial'(Sorry english speakers !!) i was (is) into...Uncertainities ..wait for me to remove 'un' from my life a day or the other !!
In the meanwhile i would wish to reiterate that i love her a lot and a lot, and cant miss her for even a Ciagarette(meant to be the greatest importunity in man`s life !!), i have spoken to the lord of the rings over the pertaining issue, let us catch what the Fu***** fate or uncertainity has in store for me , let me not feel that Commotion and name are synonymous to each other.