Time !!

Sometimes, in life..sorry everytime in Life, we start to think about how we would perform better, if and only if we had some time, But this time it is not about marks, it is about performance. Gearing up is the need of the hour, faster it is .. better for you !!
so no worries, just dont lose sight of the goal !!

The music plays !!

Responsibilities has its own definition "The social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force" . Why is the word social force into existence there ?? I really have no clue, then by definition, i am foisting responsiblities on me.Now,Let that statement not sound as a carefree person losing his free'dom'. Its about a feeling of responsiveness to an action that is the need of the hour.....say !! time period also !!
I have really forced and pressurised myself by very wrong scales, according to which i have to be the most guilty, most pounced personality !! But am i one ?? Yes, wrong measures tend to overestimate an ordinary statement. Ok, stating them to be 'overestimated', what could be the true yardstick then, let me introspect ..... initial being my parents and their well-beings, the next cropping up immediately in my mind is my life-long-song, what should i not give her ? I have to give her everything i owe for she is a personality, who can easily mislead you the first time. so did i get into bait !!
I thought shes very ungenerous, she isnt ! i thought money is something that has value, be it anywhere, it isnt ! so 2 important jusgements have toppled, Now what i dont tend to explore as far as human emptions are concerned are, they aree randomness and is always a reflex, that is the truest, for i now agree with Walsch`s verbiage and the subtlety with which the natural behaviour and normal behaviour stuff were dealt !! I have to do something out of my heart for the girl whom i can pay in no other mode !!!
Am gonna start myself on a mission, of 'not exploring' but only accomplishing for myself with the word relative being erased out, this word puts me into jitters !!
iam doing it for 2 entities, my parents and my lady-love-song !!

I dont know why iam late for the calling of life always. Though at the end of the day , i dont miss my bus, i catch the bus either by hook or crook, believe me if your goal is achieved it would be "The Day" for anyone.
So iam happy for myself, irrespective of whether iam late or not, I feel i would be better if I am a part of the planning commission and , chucked out of the execution commission for the same problem.

I am as reckless as the post says !!

I actually ask her a lot of questions, make her happy about herself, but no questions to me(fullstop) .whats wrong in expecting !! 'Only give and no Take' !! for the heck of it !!, Just because Holy books phrased it , are we to preach the philosophy and not follow the maxim, are all preachers followers ?? ! I am anyways not following it, because reality is not perfect and so is ideal'ity' .

While in college, i was actually bugged. But now everything has grown old, LOVE seems old enough to be celebrated in a happy mode , it is now being celebrated rather getting black. I want to be happy and really want myself to be myself so much so that another inclusion in my life should fit to the model like a T, which if not can prove disastrous, really 'DISASTROUS'.
But my mistakes invariably , I have to accept , my weaknesses can perhaps be related to a whole gamut of feelings, impatience, mood swings, I suffer for which steps to rectify becomes necessary, let me first try out something to get out of mood swing, possibly another post 10 days from date on my reconciliation on mood swing would portray my betterment, HOPEFULLY.

Only lucid dreams are perfect !!

Life is not taking its turn as i wanted it to be. Perhaps, that is the paradox !! Nothing happens as you want them to happen, which then would defy laws of "Perfection" - stated - "Nothing is Perfect" , Neither is GOD(its my blog, so thatis the way it is !!) . Inability to lead ones own life is also 'in a way' a road to explanation of 'dis' perfection. But iam getting mad day by day, my responsibilities, mad urge, foisted thoughts are taking its toll on my life. Hope no toxicity rears up its ugly head in any form , to make my life miserable !!

Life has its Laissez faire.

Am i cranky, i dont know that.. But for sure iam depressed for no rhyme or reason ??? Well, i cant probably despise any statement that way , from my mind for many obvious reasons. But one thing i fail in my life is either "to be or not to be myself". I dont know which of it is really true and for why . As economics puts it in the right way " Certainities and Uncertainities can take its toll on life in ", i have in one way been a victim to it. Am i really victim to it ?? Iam confused,for i dont know the answer to the questions i ask for, but for sure i have understood one thing in life (probably a better lesson !!), about Decisions made, Never take anyone or any damn shit for granted, cause devil has its own way of punishing you for the bonnie wish you ask for,beware !! where he(God or satan(let time decide !!)) boons you with your askings for in a late night drink-gossip,and also ensures that the wish is executed to the fullest(Now, thats upto my interpretation !!), on the other side of the world he also ensures that, the wish is executed so bloody much so that "Uncertainities " takes its toll on my bloody dim-witted life that i land up into introspection, and the f***** soul searchin. I want myself to be or not to be myself for the good , so that penitence does`nt become my salvation. But, today`s memory i cherish for a close friend of mine has done the greatest help he ever can, to help me out of the 'maladial'(Sorry english speakers !!) i was (is) into...Uncertainities ..wait for me to remove 'un' from my life a day or the other !!
In the meanwhile i would wish to reiterate that i love her a lot and a lot, and cant miss her for even a Ciagarette(meant to be the greatest importunity in man`s life !!), i have spoken to the lord of the rings over the pertaining issue, let us catch what the Fu***** fate or uncertainity has in store for me , let me not feel that Commotion and name are synonymous to each other.